Official Notice · For Immediate Release

A Certificate Has Been Issued, and Frankly, It Was Time.

After a review process that can only be described as thorough, the Wombat Cubes Organization is pleased to formally recognize an individual whose record speaks for itself. The full certificate is reproduced below, unedited, per Board policy.

Wombat Cubes Org.™

Wombat Cubes Organization · Office of the Wombat President · Department of Boyfriend Affairs

Best Asian Boyfriend Award 2026and ½ Best White Boyfriend

is hereby given to

Casey

In recognition of his excellence in cooking (restaurants now disappoint, Michelin star pending), devotion to sneakers (collection has legally outgrown the closet), perfect cinema attendance (has never once said no to the movies, 100% record), distinguished screaming (at appropriate and inappropriate times), allergy‑induced crying (tears certified 100% pollen, 0% weakness), and the rare dual ability to trigger and heal stubbornness (the only known holder of this license worldwide).

Official remark of the Board: still have room for improvement.

Board of Record

The Committee Responsible

Chair · Signatory The Wombat President Presides over the Office of the Wombat President. Signed the certificate in official cubes. Declined to comment further.

Steve the Rooster — Committee Member · Presenter Steve Presented the award to Casey in person. Known on the Board for punctual crowing and an unshakeable belief in due process.

Exhibit A & B

Photographic Evidence Submitted to the Board

Casey and Ha at a vinyl listening bar, sharing a cocktail — Exhibit A · 24 June 2026Field evaluation conducted at an undisclosed listening bar. Subject observed maintaining perfect cinema-attendance posture even off duty.

Casey and Ha at brunch, with mango and eggs on the table — Exhibit B · 27 June 2026Brunch-based site inspection. Mango-to-avocado ratio deemed satisfactory by the Department's culinary sub-committee.

Office of Public Record

Acceptance Statement

“

Casey accepted the award thanking his girlfriend Ha, who he couldn't have done this without.

He looks forward to her nomination for the Best Asian Girlfriend Award in 2026, which most analysts agree she is a heavy favorite to win.

Analyst consensus as of press time: 5th day of July, 2026. Odds subject to change pending further field evaluations.